Focusing on Uyghurs | Iliyas: Why do I need to learn Chinese?
Many people often ask me, 'Your Chinese is so good, how did you learn it? Do you know Uyghur?' On the internet, there are also people who frequently ask me, 'Since you are so against China, why do you still study and use Chinese? Why not write in Uyghur?' Although I always smile and brush off these questions, especially the latter one keeps coming up. After a while, I feel that maybe I should give an answer.
Today, I will talk about how I chose to learn Chinese and how I learned it. Also, what was my purpose for learning Chinese. This can be considered as a summary of my experience in learning the language and my motivation and goals for doing so.
To be honest, learning Chinese was not my choice but rather my parents' decision. They forced me to learn it!
I have mentioned this briefly in some of my previous articles; originally born in Quruqhay Township in Yili (Xinjiang), where I grew up with my grandparents. Around 1970 when I started third grade at a Uyghur elementary school there suddenly came a time when my parents visited from Hami to see us on vacation. They wanted me to go back with them to Hami city for schooling.
Going to school in the city had great appeal for me as a child growing up in rural areas even though leaving behind grandparents who raised me made it difficult for me emotionally; however curiosity led me follow along with them away from beautiful mountain village Quruqhay Township filled with clear waters and fragrant fruits through several days of horse-drawn carriage rides followed by long-distance bus trips before finally arriving at Hami Railway Area.
Completely unexpected were rows upon rows of pale dilapidated railway flats highlighting poverty-stricken self-built small courtyard walls high or low unevenly distributed throughout area's dusty narrow roads pitted year-round emitting odors every crossroads having at least one or two open-air toilets which made lose interest completely towards cities - accurately speaking - disgust arose within myself.
Furthermore almost no Uyghurs lived around Hami Railway Area where we resided only two or three families were present; since unable speak Mandarin (Chinese) thus confined inside home feeling deceived by parents' actions wrote secretly letter asking grandparents come rescue immediately after approximately one or two months later they appeared unexpectedly taking week-long visit bringing freedom returning back home Quruqhay.
However, the good times didn't last long. My parents came again, bringing with them more new clothes, candies and biscuits as material temptations. They repeatedly urged me to learn Chinese and described a bright future of growing up in the city. They told me that if I learned Chinese, I could work on the railway in the future with high salary and job security. Although I didn't quite understand what high salary and job security meant, under my grandparents' persuasion, I knew that working on the railway was much better than farming in rural areas.
Under my parents' sugar-coated bullets and promises of a better future, I followed them to Hami once again. But this time, I persisted.
In autumn when school started, I entered Hami Railway Elementary School No. 4 not far from my home to begin learning Chinese language from scratch since at that time I did not know any Chinese words.
At first it was very difficult for me; besides arithmetic problems which were easy for me because they are universal across languages ,I couldn't understand anything else teachers said or communicate effectively with classmates except through gestures or body language . However,I persevered knowing that hard work pays off eventually . After several months of hard work ,I began to understand spoken Mandarin ; by second semester ,I had already made it into top ten students in class .
While studying Uyghur script at Quruhay Primary School back then there were no other books available except Mao's quotations but at Hami where we studied Mandarin there were many different kinds of books available . With mastery over Mandarin language ,I read extensively all sorts of books which further piqued my interest towards learning Mandarin; a language opens up a window into another world -Mandarin opened up a new window for me.
The railway, like the military unit where I later worked, was a heavy area of ethnic discrimination. As Uyghurs, whether it was my parents or my siblings and other Uyghurs working on the railway, we faced various forms of discrimination almost every day. This discrimination came from teachers, classmates, neighbors, leaders and colleagues in our parents’ units; these seemingly trivial discriminations had a profound impact on my growth.
The most disgusting and boring discriminatory issue that accompanied me for half of my life was when I first appeared in class with seemingly innocent but obviously provocative questions that made teachers and classmates remember for a long time: Why don’t Uyghurs eat pork? Why do Uyghur names are so long? Why are Uyghurs so barbaric? At first, I patiently explained them but found out they already had their own answers. After I finished explaining to them, they would still come up with insulting fabricated stories to argue.
What’s worse is that some classmates deliberately put food containing pork on my desk or in my backpack and drawers. When I reported this to the teacher, he always casually said it was just children playing jokes on you. Then the teacher also joked about how good pork tasted and asked why didn’t I try it? Helpless as I was left with no choice but to solve it myself - by fighting back; most of the time I won but there were also times when students called their friends over to gang up on me leaving me beaten black and blue.
The more discrimination we encountered made me want to master Chinese better than ever before becoming an outstanding student at school. However, this became another reason for promoting discrimination; every time teachers criticized poor-performing students using frequent statements such as “Look at Yilixiati (my name), an ethnic minority person who performs better than all of you in all subjects; aren’t you ashamed?”
During ten years studying at Hami Railway School ,I witnessed firsthand how difficult life could be for my parents despite earning slightly higher wages compared to other Uighur workers on railways which allowed us a slightly better standard of living . They did the hardest work yet earned lowest wages while facing daily humiliation due to racial prejudice.
I remember one day when mother returned home crying after being insulted by Han people at her workplace selling tickets at small stations along railways . Commuting railway staff can travel free with their commuting certificate while others have to buy tickets . That day she met an extremely vulgar non-commuting worker who not only refused buying ticket but also insulted her verbally . My mother retorted him back then he jumped up wanting hit her physically calling her old ignorant uyghur woman who doesn’t understand anything etc .
Every time something like this happened ,my parents would tell me seriously: “Son,I hope you study hard Chinese language well ,master knowledge well,hopefully one day you can sit down equally with them ; unlike us living our whole lives being bullied.” Seeing all this happening around me,I knew what they expected from me wasn’t just mastering Chinese language skills or getting a job working on railways,but rather achieving equality between Han people &Uighurs!
Although at that time,I didn’t fully understand what equality meant according to parent’s expectations,but through personal experiences&commonly faced prejudices among fellow uighurs around,it dawned upon me that mastering Chinese language&modern knowledge is essential.I naively thought,the various forms of prejudice against uighurs were caused partly because older generation uighur folks couldn’t speak chinese fluently,and partly because ordinary han people working along railways were too ignorant & uncivilized.So if i studied hard,mastered knowledge,i could prove uighur people weren’t inferior compared to han people,&change their views towards us thus achieving equality .
I worked hard,determined not fall behind,became top student in class,&with excellent grades ranked within top ten throughout school,enabling admission into prestigious HaMi No2 High School followed by Dalian Institute Of Technology.
After graduating from university, I returned to my hometown to look for work. My father asked me if I would be willing to work on the railway. He said he could talk to his leader about it and my younger siblings also encouraged me, saying that railway jobs had high salaries and good benefits, and everyone was in Hami. However, I firmly refused and told them about the various discriminations I encountered during my ten years of schooling as well as the dirty, chaotic, and poor environment of the railways which had already made me tired of working there. No, I never wanted to go back to the railway.
However, fate played a joke on me when I was unfortunately assigned to Shihezi after graduation where I became a teacher in China’s colonial pioneer corps - Bingtuan’s capital city.
As a recent college graduate with an arrogant sense of superiority due to being one of the best students at that time who thought they could point out flaws in everything and make sweeping statements with ease; coming here as a teacher in Shihezi gave me this feeling like because my Chinese language skills were fluent coupled with modern knowledge meant that equality should be achievable through ability alone. But what happened instead was that compared with discrimination against non-Han ethnic groups such as Uyghurs by railways (which is already bad enough), Bingtuan’s discrimination against these groups can only be described as equally severe but more insidious and blatant.
During decades spent teaching here while dealing with school leaders and colleagues alike; most Han intellectuals’ prejudice towards Uyghurs or other non-Han ethnicities runs deep rooted within them along with their own brand of ignorant arrogance.
This kind of ignorance makes them feel entitled towards enlightening us or civilizing us; our language culture traditions beliefs are all backward according to them so their mission is assimilating us into “Chinese civilization” making us become just like Han people who speak Mandarin rather than Uyghur speakers!
I remember after countless heated debates between myself & Han colleagues over time; one old teacher named Wang said: “Mr Yiliyasiti! In the past we used say ‘Heaven fears not nor does Earth fear anything except for an old Uyghur speaking Mandarin’. Today however? We know you guys learn Chinese just so you can deal with us.” This statement has been repeated many times since then sometimes vented out angrily sometimes sighed helplessly but sometimes even cursed at full throttle fueled by hatred!
With hopes held high wanting mastery over Mandarin learning knowledge realizing dreams for equal footing alongside Han people- 10 years studying hard behind closed doors mastering Chinese yet ultimately discovering how uncomfortable angry & indignant it made both my Han superiors & colleagues feel even going so far as thinking any dissenting opinions or resistance from myself constituted rebellion deserving punishment!
Nevertheless despite all this hardship endured throughout East Turkestan fluency in Mandarin did not change my status nor fulfill wishes for equality among Han people yet through learning Mandarin gained much knowledge understanding deeper historical context regarding imperial China grasping vastness profundity contained within its culture meeting genuine friends among enlightened open-minded individuals who truly understand freedom & equality concepts! Most importantly though- mastering Mandarin became most powerful tool enabling pursuit toward equal rights freedom standing toe-to-toe versus those advocating unity under imperialist rule actually achieving true parity long ago!
Today, I will talk about how I chose to learn Chinese and how I learned it. Also, what was my purpose for learning Chinese. This can be considered as a summary of my experience in learning the language and my motivation and goals for doing so.
To be honest, learning Chinese was not my choice but rather my parents' decision. They forced me to learn it!
I have mentioned this briefly in some of my previous articles; originally born in Quruqhay Township in Yili (Xinjiang), where I grew up with my grandparents. Around 1970 when I started third grade at a Uyghur elementary school there suddenly came a time when my parents visited from Hami to see us on vacation. They wanted me to go back with them to Hami city for schooling.
Going to school in the city had great appeal for me as a child growing up in rural areas even though leaving behind grandparents who raised me made it difficult for me emotionally; however curiosity led me follow along with them away from beautiful mountain village Quruqhay Township filled with clear waters and fragrant fruits through several days of horse-drawn carriage rides followed by long-distance bus trips before finally arriving at Hami Railway Area.
Completely unexpected were rows upon rows of pale dilapidated railway flats highlighting poverty-stricken self-built small courtyard walls high or low unevenly distributed throughout area's dusty narrow roads pitted year-round emitting odors every crossroads having at least one or two open-air toilets which made lose interest completely towards cities - accurately speaking - disgust arose within myself.
Furthermore almost no Uyghurs lived around Hami Railway Area where we resided only two or three families were present; since unable speak Mandarin (Chinese) thus confined inside home feeling deceived by parents' actions wrote secretly letter asking grandparents come rescue immediately after approximately one or two months later they appeared unexpectedly taking week-long visit bringing freedom returning back home Quruqhay.
However, the good times didn't last long. My parents came again, bringing with them more new clothes, candies and biscuits as material temptations. They repeatedly urged me to learn Chinese and described a bright future of growing up in the city. They told me that if I learned Chinese, I could work on the railway in the future with high salary and job security. Although I didn't quite understand what high salary and job security meant, under my grandparents' persuasion, I knew that working on the railway was much better than farming in rural areas.
Under my parents' sugar-coated bullets and promises of a better future, I followed them to Hami once again. But this time, I persisted.
In autumn when school started, I entered Hami Railway Elementary School No. 4 not far from my home to begin learning Chinese language from scratch since at that time I did not know any Chinese words.
At first it was very difficult for me; besides arithmetic problems which were easy for me because they are universal across languages ,I couldn't understand anything else teachers said or communicate effectively with classmates except through gestures or body language . However,I persevered knowing that hard work pays off eventually . After several months of hard work ,I began to understand spoken Mandarin ; by second semester ,I had already made it into top ten students in class .
While studying Uyghur script at Quruhay Primary School back then there were no other books available except Mao's quotations but at Hami where we studied Mandarin there were many different kinds of books available . With mastery over Mandarin language ,I read extensively all sorts of books which further piqued my interest towards learning Mandarin; a language opens up a window into another world -Mandarin opened up a new window for me.
The railway, like the military unit where I later worked, was a heavy area of ethnic discrimination. As Uyghurs, whether it was my parents or my siblings and other Uyghurs working on the railway, we faced various forms of discrimination almost every day. This discrimination came from teachers, classmates, neighbors, leaders and colleagues in our parents’ units; these seemingly trivial discriminations had a profound impact on my growth.
The most disgusting and boring discriminatory issue that accompanied me for half of my life was when I first appeared in class with seemingly innocent but obviously provocative questions that made teachers and classmates remember for a long time: Why don’t Uyghurs eat pork? Why do Uyghur names are so long? Why are Uyghurs so barbaric? At first, I patiently explained them but found out they already had their own answers. After I finished explaining to them, they would still come up with insulting fabricated stories to argue.
What’s worse is that some classmates deliberately put food containing pork on my desk or in my backpack and drawers. When I reported this to the teacher, he always casually said it was just children playing jokes on you. Then the teacher also joked about how good pork tasted and asked why didn’t I try it? Helpless as I was left with no choice but to solve it myself - by fighting back; most of the time I won but there were also times when students called their friends over to gang up on me leaving me beaten black and blue.
The more discrimination we encountered made me want to master Chinese better than ever before becoming an outstanding student at school. However, this became another reason for promoting discrimination; every time teachers criticized poor-performing students using frequent statements such as “Look at Yilixiati (my name), an ethnic minority person who performs better than all of you in all subjects; aren’t you ashamed?”
During ten years studying at Hami Railway School ,I witnessed firsthand how difficult life could be for my parents despite earning slightly higher wages compared to other Uighur workers on railways which allowed us a slightly better standard of living . They did the hardest work yet earned lowest wages while facing daily humiliation due to racial prejudice.
I remember one day when mother returned home crying after being insulted by Han people at her workplace selling tickets at small stations along railways . Commuting railway staff can travel free with their commuting certificate while others have to buy tickets . That day she met an extremely vulgar non-commuting worker who not only refused buying ticket but also insulted her verbally . My mother retorted him back then he jumped up wanting hit her physically calling her old ignorant uyghur woman who doesn’t understand anything etc .
Every time something like this happened ,my parents would tell me seriously: “Son,I hope you study hard Chinese language well ,master knowledge well,hopefully one day you can sit down equally with them ; unlike us living our whole lives being bullied.” Seeing all this happening around me,I knew what they expected from me wasn’t just mastering Chinese language skills or getting a job working on railways,but rather achieving equality between Han people &Uighurs!
Although at that time,I didn’t fully understand what equality meant according to parent’s expectations,but through personal experiences&commonly faced prejudices among fellow uighurs around,it dawned upon me that mastering Chinese language&modern knowledge is essential.I naively thought,the various forms of prejudice against uighurs were caused partly because older generation uighur folks couldn’t speak chinese fluently,and partly because ordinary han people working along railways were too ignorant & uncivilized.So if i studied hard,mastered knowledge,i could prove uighur people weren’t inferior compared to han people,&change their views towards us thus achieving equality .
I worked hard,determined not fall behind,became top student in class,&with excellent grades ranked within top ten throughout school,enabling admission into prestigious HaMi No2 High School followed by Dalian Institute Of Technology.
After graduating from university, I returned to my hometown to look for work. My father asked me if I would be willing to work on the railway. He said he could talk to his leader about it and my younger siblings also encouraged me, saying that railway jobs had high salaries and good benefits, and everyone was in Hami. However, I firmly refused and told them about the various discriminations I encountered during my ten years of schooling as well as the dirty, chaotic, and poor environment of the railways which had already made me tired of working there. No, I never wanted to go back to the railway.
However, fate played a joke on me when I was unfortunately assigned to Shihezi after graduation where I became a teacher in China’s colonial pioneer corps - Bingtuan’s capital city.
As a recent college graduate with an arrogant sense of superiority due to being one of the best students at that time who thought they could point out flaws in everything and make sweeping statements with ease; coming here as a teacher in Shihezi gave me this feeling like because my Chinese language skills were fluent coupled with modern knowledge meant that equality should be achievable through ability alone. But what happened instead was that compared with discrimination against non-Han ethnic groups such as Uyghurs by railways (which is already bad enough), Bingtuan’s discrimination against these groups can only be described as equally severe but more insidious and blatant.
During decades spent teaching here while dealing with school leaders and colleagues alike; most Han intellectuals’ prejudice towards Uyghurs or other non-Han ethnicities runs deep rooted within them along with their own brand of ignorant arrogance.
This kind of ignorance makes them feel entitled towards enlightening us or civilizing us; our language culture traditions beliefs are all backward according to them so their mission is assimilating us into “Chinese civilization” making us become just like Han people who speak Mandarin rather than Uyghur speakers!
I remember after countless heated debates between myself & Han colleagues over time; one old teacher named Wang said: “Mr Yiliyasiti! In the past we used say ‘Heaven fears not nor does Earth fear anything except for an old Uyghur speaking Mandarin’. Today however? We know you guys learn Chinese just so you can deal with us.” This statement has been repeated many times since then sometimes vented out angrily sometimes sighed helplessly but sometimes even cursed at full throttle fueled by hatred!
With hopes held high wanting mastery over Mandarin learning knowledge realizing dreams for equal footing alongside Han people- 10 years studying hard behind closed doors mastering Chinese yet ultimately discovering how uncomfortable angry & indignant it made both my Han superiors & colleagues feel even going so far as thinking any dissenting opinions or resistance from myself constituted rebellion deserving punishment!
Nevertheless despite all this hardship endured throughout East Turkestan fluency in Mandarin did not change my status nor fulfill wishes for equality among Han people yet through learning Mandarin gained much knowledge understanding deeper historical context regarding imperial China grasping vastness profundity contained within its culture meeting genuine friends among enlightened open-minded individuals who truly understand freedom & equality concepts! Most importantly though- mastering Mandarin became most powerful tool enabling pursuit toward equal rights freedom standing toe-to-toe versus those advocating unity under imperialist rule actually achieving true parity long ago!
